Dreaming Paris

So I got tagged by Paula in a discussion over on Facebook about whether or not online friends are "real" friends. Or whether or not you treat people online like you do the ones in "real" life. I loved it when the term "meatspace" came into being to differentiate between the two groups. You had your online friends and meatspace friends. Who came up with that anyway? Both Nancy and Paula come to mind when I hear that term, as though it was one of them who coined it, but I really don't know. Maybe they were the first ones I saw use it. They're both clever enough to have been the originators. Way, way in the beginning of my online life, when I first dipped my toes in the waters of chat rooms and newsgroups, I was myself, but more so. Meaning, I was very direct and blunt. Until I saw the reactions. When I finally found the newsgroup misc.writing (which is a sad, sad place these days-I just checked 2 days ago), I was a bit more diplomatic. I could mull over my words and delete them before hitting send, something you can't do when looking someone in the eye. So I'm now actually the reverse of what peeps say you become when you get online. When you're with me, though I don't mean to because I like being nice to people, I'm more likely to blurt out something very tactless, or thoughtless, than when you talk to me in text. But in both places I tend to not have much to say for long periods of time, and then suddenly I become motor mouth/fingers. As for which of my friends are the real ones, the online or the meatspace, well, there is no differentiation. They're all real if I call them friend. Some of the people I've actually met are dear to my heart, while others are just close acquaintances. Same with the people I know online. And actually, some of the people online may not be dear friends in that there is no close, ongoing relationship happening, but many of them are still dear to my heart, probably because I've interacted with them for more years than I've actually interacted with the people I've met. They're more a part of my life than the ones I get together with from time to time...or year to year...or decade to decade. Because I live a large percentage of my life online, through words, reading them and writing them. It suits me. I think that right there is why there is even an argument about what's real and what isn't. I know that there are many people for whom this online life just wouldn't suit, and they're not going to understand how one can feel just as close, and care just as much, for people they've never even met than for ones that they have. I'm a shy person until I begin to feel comfortable in my surroundings or in my role. I'm not outgoing. I'm an introvert. But that doesn't mean I don't like being social, or that I don't want to be with people. But people can tire me out quite easily. So this online world works for me. When I need companionship, I can find it. When I need to feel a part of other people, you're all right there for me at the touch of my on button. And when I'm tired and want to be alone, I can be. I don't have to make my excuses and say goodbye. So, if you all aren't real, those of you I haven't met yet, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.