Dreaming Paris

I can’t believe it. Tomorrow my site goes live! I’m just a little bit behind schedule, so it won’t work until a little later in the day, and a couple of things aren’t quite complete, but the important stuff is. Of course, no tutors will actually be tutoring tomorrow because no students have been able to sign up yet, and being Labor Day, the likelihood is slim that any one will for a few days yet. But still! It’s here!!!

The Tutor Connection

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to get into the groove of something new.

When I quit my job, I think I went into some kind of traumatic shock thing or something. The first week was great, of course, but then, I became depressed, and had no motivation for planning my new business. I began to get scared that it wasn’t going to work. That I’d made a horrible mistake and what was I going to do NOW?!? There was a bit of a glitch up w/my IT partner (not my husband) at the time that also had me freaked out (it’s all okay, now). He’s the one providing the tutoring interface. I met him at the NTA convention this past April, and he’s really a cool dude. I couldn’t do this if it weren’t for him, and he’s working his buns off doing things for me that he hadn’t originally intended, simply because I’m ignorant and thought I could do things I couldn’t do. Eli is more than cool, he’s awesome, and I highly recommend his talents and want to see him succeed. (His business site) You see, he’s just beginning in his business, too. So we’re helping each other, because if I succeed he succeeds, but without him, I can do nothing. Not so with him, actually. He could maybe find another client that isn’t so needy, someone who doesn’t require quite so much in the way of how she wants her site to work. OTH, he’s learning how to do things that he’ll need to know, and he’ll be able to offer those things to others, and I think that he’ll have an edge that way, because most of the online tutoring interface companies don’t supply the payment option integration that Eli’s doing for me because they mostly cater to colleges and universities, not entrepreneurs like me. Those companies that do what I’ll be doing have inhouse IT guys who create their stuff for them. So what Eli and I are doing is new, yet not.

ANYWAY, as I was saying, I was going through this traumatic depression thing. But I pushed through, kept plugging away doing the things that I needed to do, though I was a little behind. But finally, FINALLY, and it happened the week I got ready for a meeting with the tutors I’d lined up, I began to feel good about it all again, to be motivated, and to spend more time on the things I should be spending my time on. Of course, it’s typical me behavior to end up doing the bulk of my work as the due date approaches because I seem to thrive under pressure, even though I’m stressed and quite frantic that it will never all get done, and I drive my family crazy with it all and swear I’ll never let myself reach that point again-until the next time, of course.

But I’m on track with my business, and I’ve finally started my healthy lifestyle habits as well. I started an exercise regimen of yoga and strength exercises that my trainer had given me (sparkpeople.com is awesome, too, at helping me to develop routines), and I’ve been tracking my eating for an entire week now. At first I wasn’t trying to limit my intake, I simply wanted to see where I was and get back into the habit of writing it all down. That truly is the best habit for me to cultivate w/regard to staying in control of my eating. It’s too easy to forget things you’ve taken in and to mess up if you just estimate it each day. Yesterday and today, though, I finally stayed within my limits. Yay!

I’ve also finally slipped into a routine for my work day. It gets messed up a bit when I have to go out to meet prospective tutors, however, I’ve decided that I won’t do that any more. If they can’t come to my office, they’re just not for me. I can’t be driving all over the city to meet with people. Can’t afford it, and it wastes too much of my time.

This next week will be full of hitting the pavement, though, because I have to visit schools and colleges and put up flyers and drop off business cards so that I can drum up business. I have enough tutors to start. Yay! I thought I might only have 6 or 7. It looks like I’ll have at least 15! Woohoo! And I’ll be able to cover the basics-English, Math, Chemistry, Physics, Spanish, and Accounting. Those are the subjects most asked for. Humanities topics aren’t often requested. Anatomy/Physiology and the Biologies are requested on a limited basis, though my experience may change now that I’m going to be working with 4 year schools.

You all will have to check out my site The Tutor Connection when it goes live on Monday, September 1st.

Thank you so much to Roy for the name. It’s perfect for what I plan to do with it. I’m still working on the café idea. I plan to reach that point 5 years from now. I even have hopes that I can buy our old house, the one we lived in before this one. It occurred to me that it would be perfect. Of course, the young man doing business there now would be affronted to hear that, so thank goodness he doesn’t know of my blog! He knows me, though, because I drop in there every so often, and he knows I used to live there. I love what he’s done with the place, and it fits in perfectly with what I want for the future. I’d have to add on to it, but it’s on a very busy road in a central location for all the schools in the area, fairly close to the interstate for easy access. It’s two stories, so I could have the café downstairs, along with a lovely patio outside, and for those who don’t deal well with distractions, I could divide the upstairs into tutoring rooms. It has a kitchen and two bathrooms and is zoned residential and commercial. It’s on a corner lot with lots of space for parking. It really would be perfect.

When we lived there, I always wanted to buy it, and it kills me that we couldn’t when it was being offered for only $54,000! Of course, it needed a lot of work, and the present owner has taken care of all of that. When I first spoke to him, he said that if he ever sold the business, he wouldn’t take less than $500,000 for it. Ha! But that shows he has thought of selling, and when I visited him a few days ago and asked how business was going, he said it had its ups and downs, and his tone of voice and expression seemed to shout that presently he’s in a down time. I’m not surprised. The building really isn’t suited to what he’s doing. He sells shabby chic furniture for indoors and out, as well as other furnishing odds and ends. The place is cram packed with stuff, pieces on top of pieces, and it’s not easy to navigate without fear of knocking something over. Plus, it’s not really quality shabby chic. It’s shabby dressed up to look shabby chic in some instances, though he does have some nice pieces, and he’s not over-priced the way some places are. He has this one mahogany and wicker screen that I just love and wish I had a place for. Also, he had a rug that I wish I’d seen the day before because I’d already purchased some rugs to make do for my studio/office. It was within my price range and just the colors and style I’d been looking for! Oh, well, with throw rugs I’ll be able to take them up when I want to paint and not worry about getting stuff on the carpet. I don’t think I’d like having to roll up a rug.

Always a silver lining, which really is the point of this post. I’m over my trauma and back in the game, enjoying my life and what I’m doing! Now, if only I had some money, life would be perfect.

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and I said I didn’t like the way he got things done, sleeping on the job, those raindrops keep falling on my head, they keep falling…

This weather is killing me. One morning it was so bad when I woke up that my husband said I looked awful, like I had a hangover or something. Well, that’s what it feels like. My head pounds, my eyes are bleary, and all I want to do is sleep forever except that it even hurts to sleep. Pleeeeeeeeease let the sun come back soon. All of my joints and muscles that usually cause me trouble in an annoying now and then way are screaming at me. My neck, shoulders, lower back, right hip, and even my right knee has been squeaking at me lately. And something went wrong with my right ankle, the one I twisted a few weeks ago. It seemed to be healing up, and then I turned it wrong and caused it to swell and hurt all over again. Even worse than when I first twisted it. For the last two days I’ve been limping around and when I sit on the couch, I ice it down and keep it elevated. I’m living on anti-inflammatory pain killers. Tonight I have ice on my ankle and a heating pad at neck and shoulders, and I don’t want to go to bed, not because I’m not tired, but because I dread what I’m going to feel like when I get up. Once I start moving around and waking up, I feel better, but it takes at least an hour, and in the meantime, I just want to die.

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I was cleaning up things in the house when I realized the kittens had been quiet for awhile. I figured that they were asleep, but because my cleaning led to me deciding to move the litterbox, I went to find them so that I could show them where I was moving it to. They were nowhere to be found. I mean nowhere. I realized that I couldn’t remember seeing them since I’d taken the trash out, and I panicked. I raced all over the house looking EVERYWHERE that I could think of that a kitten could hide. I called and called. Usually, when I do that, one or the other one appears. In fact, I’ve never had both of them go missing like that. It’s usually only one of them who finds some new place or other to sleep where no one thinks to look. If one of them is around, it’s a sure thing the other one is, too, somewhere. But neither of them were responding to my calls.

I tried opening and closing the sliding glass doors. When Numa hears that, he comes running, trying to beat us to the close. No Numa. How could they have gotten out? I would have noticed. I was so careful to open and close the front door quickly so they couldn’t follow me out. But obviously they’d done it somehow.

At that point I was crying copiously. This isn’t happening, this isn’t happening. Breathe. Remember how many times your own children got lost and you always found them. (Only my boys, actually. They were good at running off when you weren’t looking. One time, my mom, brother, ex-sister-in-law, her husband, my husband, and I took our kids to the zoo and we lost my sons. None of us knew where they’d run off to, everyone saying, “But I thought they were up ahead with you…I thought they were still behind with you.” Talk about panic. The relief at seeing the two of them over on the next hill, big brother in the lead (9), watching over little brother (6), was so…well…relieving!) So I go out the front door and walk the block, calling the way I always do in the house. No kitties.

I come back in the house and resume crying, then call my husband, still in hysterics. “I’ve lost the kittens. I’ve looked everywhere. I searched the neighborhood. I can’t find them. They’re gone. I don’t how this happened.” “I’m coming home.”

I breathe again. Okay, they’re micro-chipped. Call the company. My husband comes home while I’m doing this. I finish the phone call and run into his arms, crying once again. “I can’t believe this is happening.” He does his own search inside and out. No kitties.

I do up the flyer you see above, but before printing it, I do one last opening of the sliding door and calling their names. I close the door, near tears again, and turn around, just in time to see Numa coming around the corner of the piano. Where one is, the other won’t be far behind. I scooped him up and held him tight, reassured that Maddy had to be around somewhere.

I’d searched under my bed already, but there is so much stuff stored under there. That had to be where he’d come from, though. I peered under, using the bedside lamp to light up the dark. No Maddy. Then Numa popped back under the bed. The only reason he’d do that once he was wide awake would be to chase his sister. So I looked once more, and suddenly, to the right of Numa, I see a paw reach up between some boxes, and then an ear.

I seriously do not want to go through this again. Of all the pets I’ve ever had, I’ve never been this hysterical over them disappearing. I’ve got it bad this time around.

Oh, and the no collar comment on the sign? Well, their collars are still too big, and I was worried that they’d get caught on something and choke to death while we were sleeping or something, so I took them off. See? I’m losing it. But I’m going to a specialty store this time and find collars that will fit. They must have bells. I must be able to hear them when they move.

Remember the water bottle post? It took ONE day. ONE DAY for them to learn what get down means with using the water. I only have to use it occasionally when they decide to be deliberately stubborn, but usually a simple get down will do it. Especially with Maddy. If it doesn’t, all I have to do is pick up the bottle and point it at them and they’re off like a shot. Why have I never used this with any of my other cats before? No more yelling or clapping or getting up to get them down. It’s great!

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I put collars on the kittens with their rabies tags. Maddy is going especially nuts. She’s taking a short rest,  panting away after her exertions to rid herself of the irritating neckband. What they don’t know is that as soon as they settle into them, they’ll be allowed outside. I had hoped to at least keep Maddy in, but it’s a no go. The way they run to the doors as soon as they hear them open, it won’t be long before they make it out on their own.

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Mademoiselle is her given name, and I do call her that, but mostly she’s my Miss Maddy.

Don’t let that sweet sleeping face fool you. She is the instigator of all kitten shenanigans. The doer of all things naughty. She’s the curtain climber, the plant digger, the bowl breaker, and the explorer of the highest of high things. She is also the brother baiter, and the older cat’s bane of existence. Oh, and let’s not forget, the biter of toes. She is the terror of our household.

Numa, big brother (in size, but I don’t know who was born first), when left to his own devices, chases dust bunnies and paper balls and stares out of windows, longing for the great wide world.

He follows people, wanting to be wherever the action is, and sometimes, he’ll play with long flowing robes that swish by him. He bites toes, too, but only when they’re under blankets and move around. He sometimes swats at the plant leaves that hang, or the curtains when the fans move them. He jumps on tables, too, because that’s what cats do, but he’s never jumped to stand precariously upon the top of a chair back just because it’s higher. Nor has he been interested in jumping from the piano bench to the top of the piano only to notice that one can get to the kitchen counter from there. He’s an explorer of the low ground. He also respects the older male cat, only sometimes swatting his tail when it’s just too tempting, but mostly he just follows him in admiration, happy to be allowed to be near him.

Enter Miss Maddy. She cannot abide such tame doings. Oh, no. She must stir the pot and pounce on what rises to the top. She encourages her brother in all sorts of bad manners, and steals the older cat’s favorite toys, places to sleep, and peace of mind, right out from under him. And she thinks that feet are her personal chew toys.

You wouldn’t think that to look at this picture, would you? Numa looks like the one most likely to leave mayhem and destruction in his wake. That’s him on the left, bright-eyed, ready for anything. You know what Maddy’s doing? She’s biding her time, lulling you into thinking she’s a lazy cat who can’t be bothered with adventures. (Actually, she was sleeping, and I disturbed her with my picture taking.)

At first I thought that she was the smart one because she learned what No! and Get down! means first. Silly me. Of course she learned quickly. She was the one who heard it being shouted at her the most. I don’t know what it is about my plant by the window, but she loves to sit in it. And she will do it just to make me mad, I swear she will. You can see it in her eyes as she looks at me before jumping into the plant as if to say, ha! I’m going to do it ANYWAY. When she was a very little kitten, she seemed to be learning to do as told when I would tell her to get down. Usually, I would have to get up and walk toward her first, but at least she understood I wanted her down and would comply. But now that she’s solidly settled in as family, I think she thinks the people are just big cats to annoy like she does her brother and Tiger because she fights with us just like she does with them.

Firmness and an angry tone don’t work. That just incites her to deliberate mischief. As do smacks to her rump while making her get down. I had to prevent my plant from falling and the pot breaking in one such attempt because she clung to it so tightly, determined to win the battle of the plant.

So if she wants war, she has it now. It’s much more fun than yelling and smacking. Not to mention more humane. I have a water bottle. It has a far reaching stream. I don’t need to get up. I don’t need to yell. I simply say, “Maddy, get down,” and squirt. It’s beautiful. Am I a horrible person to get such a kick out of this? She’s off like a shot to lick herself dry and doesn’t come back for the same mischief.

She finds different mischief instead. That’s my sweet Maddy.

Actually, she is very sweet in between her bouts of ADHD behavior, and I don’t mean while sleeping, either. She likes being held and cuddled, and she purrs almost constantly. I love my Maddy.

Here she is licking herself dry after her very first bath. No, I didn’t go that crazy with the water bottle. She really got a bath.

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I just put catnip on the cat’s favorite scratch and ball chase toy.

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They’re growing fast and beginning to lose some of their kittenish looks. Tiger still mostly treats them like invaders of his domain. He tries his best to ignore them or stay in parts of the house where they aren’t. Since it’s been raining so much, and he’s deathly afraid of thunderstorms, he doesn’t go out of the house unless we make him, and he’ll only stay on the back porch, mostly standing at the door wanting back in. The kittens, on the other hand, have no such fear. Maddy doesn’t really care about going outside, but Tiger is out there and she likes to annoy him. Tiger tolerates her. She’s on the right. Numa is on the left, and he wants to both get at Tiger to play, and he’s dying to explore the great outdoors.

Numa loves playing with Tiger. Tiger occasionally comes down from his throne of righteous indignation to humor the little one.

Tiger and Numa playing peekaboo

My mom would have a fit over where these cats like to sleep (after laughing just like I did), but I’m training them Mom! I just had to get this picture. Maddy is starting to learn, “Get down!” Numa, well…it may take a little longer.

Sleepy kitties. They make me laugh so much.

Miss Maddy’s rabbit imitation.

This pretty much sums Numa up. Nothing fazes him and he lives life with complete kitten abandon.

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My last day today. They gave me a nice party yesterday. I felt very loved and appreciated. I have a poster that they made for me and everyone who came signed it. I’m going to put it up in my home office, and one day it will be in my office at my tutoring cafe.

It still hasn’t sunk in yet that I no longer work there. I wonder when it will. I didn’t have to cart too much home because I’ve been bringing things home little by little over the last few weeks. I left everything so organized it makes me wish I could at least spend some more time working just to know what it feels like to have nothing to do at work. All projects completed, everything updated.

One of my original tutors, who has become a very dear friend, stopped in to see me and we had a very good chat. He graduated with a finance degree. He travels all over the country (and sometimes out of it), spending weekends here at home, though his company is based in New York, and he’s doing quite well. He is beginning to collect “toys”. His latest? A red Porsche. And his latest assignment? Las Vegas. Remember when I took my entire staff to Las Vegas for a tutoring convention in 2002? He was there, the youngest one, 19 years old. It’s so amazing to consider that he’ll soon be 26. He’s only a few months older than my oldest son.

Monday my younger son comes home from the army for a visit. I can’t wait. I’ll spend the weekend getting the house all in order and then just enjoy the time I can spend with him. I’m glad I won’t be away at work. I will be working, though. I have a lot to do to be ready for my virtual grand opening in September.

The kittens are growing, spending more time playing and less time sleeping, although, being cats, they still sleep a lot, of course. They’re very good natured. We were very lucky when we found these two. Tiger, my daughter’s cat, is finally beginning to play with them. He’ll even go so far as to wrestle a little with Numa. Numa is determined to turn Tiger into another playmate and is always attempting to get him to participate in his games with Maddy. Maddy is a little more temperamental. Sometimes she’ll want to include Tiger, sometimes not. Now that I’ll be home more, I’ll get some pictures of the three of them to post.

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We took the kittens to the vet yesterday just before noon for their exams and shots. The poor babies were so traumatized that they slept away the rest of yesterday and all of today, getting up only to eat and use the litter box before settling back down again.

It is now 1:30 in the morning. Trauma has been forgotten and they’re wilder than ever, chasing each other all over the place, doing fancy acrobatics in the air, and chasing dust bunnies and plastic paper bags.

They were just around 2 lbs. when we brought them home. Numa has always been slightly bigger and heavier. He now weighs 3.1 lbs and Maddy weighs 2.9.

Numa is dying to go outside. We have to be careful when we let Tiger out because Numa races to the back sliding glass door when he hears it opening. Then he looks outside with such longing. Maddy doesn’t care. She’s quite happy with all the things she finds to play with inside. Numa is the Adventurer, Maddy is the Fighter. She’s a scrappy little thing. I expect that were she to go outside, she’d be the one leaving presents at our door. Numa, on the other hand, would simply play with the creatures he found outside, probably killing some of them, but never with intention. I could be wrong, of course, but those are the natures that they’re displaying right now.

Since Numa is my husband’s cat, I imagine when he’s big enough, he’ll let him outside, if only because Numa will get past us one day, and R won’t care. But I’m going to do my darndest to keep Maddy an inside cat. Hopefully, her disinterest in the back porch will continue.

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